2017 began so sweetly. Amongst a Nertz marathon (a game that dominated my winter 2016-2017), a few close friends and I shared our 2017 intentions. We were all at a place in life where we felt a little stagnant. I think your mid-thirties, especially without the saga of marriage and children, does that to you. You have succeeded in "adulting" (career, home, friends, family all under control) and wonder what this life is about and what's next (especially if the relationship thing isn't happening for you). So we sat down and made SMART goals. I'll even share mine.
- Get a new job (apply for 5 jobs/month)
- Choose a non-profit to get involved with outside of Mission St. Louis (or at least something different)
- Practice mindfulness by meditating 2x/ week
- Lose 20 pounds by May
- Join a book club
- Vary meal planning to add more variety
- Vary television watching to add more variety (i.e. stop watching the same shows over and over).
So with those intentions in place, we set off to make 2017 the best year yet.
The job thing was by far the biggest decision, as I had been at Ameren for almost 9 years and had more or less loved every second of it. I wasn't being challenged, though, the way I once had been and I didn't see a clear next step for me there, so I opted to look outside the utility industry for something a little more challenging and faster-paced where I could feel like I was on my best game. So the spring was spent on applications and interviewing. Here's the rest of the years highlights before getting on to the end of that story.
Trips:
As I was texting with my former roommate Gretchen over the Christmas 2016, she mentioned she'd be coming stateside for an extended visit in April or May of 2017. I was motivated then to buy tickets to Costa Rica to make sure I went and saw her while she was still there. So I took a rather spur of the moment trip near the end of January to Uvita, the coastal town where she lives. It was the first time I had traveled internationally alone, so I was a little nervous, moreso than anything about the transportation to Uvita from San Jose. I had booked a shuttle and kept double checking the schedule and calling to make sure that if something happened, I had a private ride. Of course, my flight was delayed and I missed the shuttle and there was no private ride available from the shuttle company. So much for the obsessive double checking. Thus I was on my own and managed to get a cab driver to drive me the 4 hours to Uvita (8 hours round trip for him!). He barely spoke any English, so I had a chance to practice my extremely limited Spanish (with the help of Google Translator, obviously) and we talked about everything from family to baseball/soccer, to traveling, to him asking me what my ideal boyfriend's age was. HA! The best part was when he pulled into a road-side store and asked me if I wanted a "cerveza". So he bought two beers, we cracked them open, cheered/Pura Vida!, and drove on our merry way.
After getting lost a little in Uvita, we finally found the Flutterby, the hostel where Gretchen was a manager and where I would be staying for the next week. 5 minute walk from the beach, complete with bar and restaurant and hammocks. Except for the quality of the mattress (and the fact that I was sleeping with 5 other men/women, which honestly wasn't that bad), it was heaven on earth.
I spent the week on the beach with a drink, cuddling Gretchen's 9 month old Julian, seeing her house and friends, going on a whale watching tour, jumping off cliffs into waterfalls, reading in a hammock, learning how to surf, and making new friends at the hostel.
It was a totally different crowd of people than what I was used to- people who had quit their jobs to go backpacking through Central and South America. People who where trying to move down there and start a business. Made me think that there was more to life than working an 8-5 job. Somehow all of these people were getting by. And I came back home relaxed and realizing that life was bigger than Ameren. Still not exactly ready to give it all up, but I did google Au Pair New Zealand while I was down there (but you have to be under 30).
In April, I went to Atlanta with my friend Jessi to watch her scuba dive in the GA Aquarium. I had never been to Atlanta before and there was an off-chance I might get to go snorkeling, so it was worth the drive. We also took a Nashville detour to stay with our friend Katie and check out her new house! The neatest part of the trip was getting a glimspe into Jessi's life-waters community- people with spinal cord injuries who scuba dive. It was a whole community I had no idea existed of people who have different stories about how they got hurt, but a similar thread about how they've persevered and helped others to do the same. And scuba is a great avenue for that. Loved that trip; I think it was the best of the year.
In addition to Costa Rica, I added three other new countries to my roster in 2017, all in Eastern Europe. My cousin Katheryn and I had bought plane tickets to Eastern Europe for mid-July around February. We had both been wanting to check out that area of the world (which we would later name Mid-Europe, because we realized how many other countries further east there were). Amazingly, it happened to basically coincide with my job change, so I was able tie up all the ends at Ameren and leave, knowing that when I came back, I'd basically have 1.5 days left before I brought my time there to a close. So, when I was in Europe, I literally had no job stress; probably the weirdest feeling I'd had since finals were over in college (but even then I had the stress of finding a job). So me and my stress-free self went to Europe for almost 2 weeks. The best part was Kat took control of the trip and the schedules and the events so I was literally along for the ride. I got to de-compress, be laid back, and just follow the flow. It was amazing and much needed. We started in Budapest and met quite a few people at the hostel we stayed at; really liked the culture there. We did get a chance to visit the famous baths. We then moved on to Bratislava, Slovakia, which oddly wound up being my favorite place we visited, mostly because it was so different and the communism thing was so in-your-face (block housing right across the river, a giant bridge that was built basically to take out the synagogue, etc). We had an amazing Slovakian lunch there too with a girl we had met who was backpacking for 6 weeks by herself through Europe. My old roommate Lacey and her husband picked us up from there and took us to their home in Vienna, where we stayed a couple of days, including going up to wineries, which was a much-needed down day. We ended our trip when the three of us took the train into Prague and explored there for a few days. It was a great trip and gave me some much-needed mental rest. However, I did make the decision that I'm done "doing European cities". I've seen everything I want to see from a city perspective; next time I go to Europe for pleasure it's either going to be a cruise or a bike tour of some kind.
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| Budapest Baths |
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| Budapest Baths |
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| Bratislava |
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| Bratislava |
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| Bratislava |
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| Vienna Wineries |
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| View out of our Prague apt |
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| Prague |
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| Prague |
Three days after I got back (in which I celebrated my career at Ameren), I left for Eureka Springs for the weekend with the other two 9am Preschool Leaders from Journey Kids. We called it a retreat and it was lovely. We crafted the perfect day for each of us and basically tried to cram in all the perfect day things. They were as follows:
- Coffee on a deck
- Hot breakfast
- Outdoor physical activity
- Food that can be consumed with chopsticks
- Reading a book in the sunshine
- Water based/swimsuit activity
- Sweet Treat
- Mexican food
- Adult beverages with a view
- Sharing your heart with good friends
We hiked, ate, zip-lined, played games, made friends with locals' dogs... and mostly just created memories and lasting friendships. We've decided that it's an annual thing now and can't wait for our 2018 Eureka Springs Trip. #whereARwe
Two days after I got back from Arkansas, I left for NYC. As a result of our 2017 intentions, Kelly had moved there in June for a new job. My favorite moment of that trip was taking a bottle of wine to the Brooklyn Pier, looking at the Manhattan skyline, and toasting to the fact that in January neither of us would have ever predicted that we'd be sitting in Brooklyn on a bench and she be living there and I'd be starting a new job. But because of our 2017 intentions list, there we were... life is weird and I'm so glad I get to live it with friends! The rest of the week, while Kelly was working, I took off solo and explored. I checked out the 9/11 museum, which was too emotional and amazing to put into words here. My other highlight was taking Kelly's bike and biking basically from Brooklyn up to the Bronx along the Hudson river; a great way to experience Manhattan. I also got a chance to hang out with the Harms family, friends from The Journey who had moved to NYC a year or so previously. I also went back to NYC to stay with Kelly at the beginning of December, where we did the Christmas in NYC thing and went to Rockefeller Center, Sachs 5th Ave, Macy's, and went to the Metropolitan Opera. During that trip, I got to go to church and Community Group with Kelly, getting to meet the community of people she's developed there this year. So so proud of her!
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Manhattan from Brooklyn |
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| On the Brooklyn Pier toasting 2017 |
Biking
The parts of the summer I was home were basically spent biking. I've been praying for close friends to bike with and I found them in Dorothy, Nicole, and Sarah sometime when I wasn't looking. We had signed up for the MS 150 (we were just going to do 75 miles on day 1) and the Pedal the Cause Century, both in October. Meaning we had to spend the summer getting ready. This resulted in many adventures and mis-adventures on the trails of Edwardsville and on the roads of Chesterfield with these girls on Saturday mornings. We joined Trailnet and met some new friends through that. The theme of our new friends was Silver Foxes... apparently biking is primarily a sport for older men. And we took advantage of the biking knowledge they had to share.
I love Saturday biking days. We go hard all morning, reach new time/mile goals, are done by 3 ish, can eat whatever you want. Then your other friends text you to go out and you try but you're basically asleep by 8, sun burnt and wind burnt. They are glorious. I've had to develop new Saturday morning rhythms for the winter and they aren't nearly as fun. I don't know about the other girls, but I can't wait for biking season to roll around again.
I had relatively good results for both of my long rides. At mile 30 on the MS 75 ride, we made the choice to turn and go for the century. It was flat and relatively easy, save for Nicole hurting her knee toward the end. There was some gooood homemade-food-style rest stops on that ride that I still think about to this day...
The Pedal the Cause weekend we knew would be challenging. We had done most of the course in our training rides, but not all together. There were some HILLS that we weren't so sure about. Dorothy was the only one of us that finished the century. Nicole and I did about 82 miles and got a ride home in a van... but we left it all on the course.
The best part about biking was I found new friends to share my heart and life with. Biking turned to Friday night happy hours and porch wine nights and even to NYE lazy plans. I had been praying for new friends and I found them on the streets and trails of St. Louis while getting great quads and biking short tan lines. And, as Sarah said, you are my people now. Love answered prayers!!!
Block Captaining
At the beginning of every year, my neighborhood association puts a call out for block captains. I always think that I don't have the time. But this time, I replied and said I'd do it for my block. My neighbor Megan replied separately. With that, a new year and new plan was born for our block. We talked and both said we wanted to do it to make where we live safer and more friendly, especially in light of all the racial tension that has been underscoring our city the past few years. It's not a random non-profit we joined, but literally where we lived. I always liked the quote "do what you can with what you have where you are" (T. Roosevelt). So we did. Job number one was figuring out who was on our bock and interested, so we flier-ed front doors to collect contact information. And from there, we were off and running. We facilitated clean-up day, several outdoor movie nights, the big National Night Out Block party, where we had an attendance of around 60, a chili cook-off, and a ladies wine night at Sashas.
Jaime on our block had a NYE party and invited everyone, where we rang in Rio's New Year (8pm, lol). And I couldn't help but think that if Megan and I didn't step up, none of these people would know each other. I think that's the biggest and best thing I've done this year. And it was honestly really little. An encouragement to just step up if you feel led because little things make a HUGE difference. And now I know my neighbors and they know each other and we all have new friends in close proximity, which is HUGE.
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| Block Party 2017 |
Church/Volunteering
I continue to be a little involved with Mission St. Louis, though my switching jobs into Clayton and away from the school I was tutoring at has limited it. At the beginning of the year, I was tutoring and St. Louis College Prep and started working with their Jobs for Life program through mock-interviewing and resume development. This led to tutoring some of the JfL graduates for their GED tests. It was kind of fun going through the social studies material and coaching on how to read maps, etc. I ended both those programs when I started the new job though.
I'm celebrating my 9th anniversary of teaching preschoolers at the Journey. It's been an honor to be with the program that long as it grows and changes and I continue to develop friendships with the parents and other leaders. Kelly W and I even got the chance to repeat our baby-sit-cation with two of our boys for 3 days in August.
I also hit my 10th anniversary at the Journey in October. What a journey that has been and continues to be. That deserves its own blog post someday. Sufficed to say, I owe almost every aspect of my life to the people I've met through that church. Even the two new people who will be working for me at Centene are a result of my network there. It's hard to fathom the path of my life if that church didn't exist. God has us where he wants us.
Houseguests
When Gretchen came back to the states to work in the spring, she and her one-year-old Julian stayed for a few weeks with me. I loved watching Julian evenings when she went to work. I got to basically play pretend mom for a few hours a day for a couple weeks. He was the most CHILL baby you ever saw; letting me meet friends, go to happy hours, etc while he would just hang out in his carrier. Or crawl around on the floor of the bar... And those eyes are killer! I also took him over to the Holman house a lot of days so he could play with their toys and kiddos. Carolyn liked having another baby around.
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| I can't even |
Carley also stayed with me mostly for the month I was gone and a little into August before she left for school. It was great having her and Caleb around; made the house a little more lively. So proud of both of them! They were both "my kids" in Journey Youth and they have grown into actual adults and I've loved being around to watch it all happen. And they thankfully were there to take care of my sick cat when I was in NYC in the summer. Poor Yamo!!
Job
This is by far the hardest section to write. I started Centene July 24 as a new Manager with the promise of a team to lead, getting to build out a Sourcing process in a department that's not been developed, develop a Supplier Diversity program, and help take the department to a more strategic level. Sign me up!!! In reality, it's been the hardest 4 months of my career and probably my life. I can't write what all has happened as most of it is HR confidential or related to people/culture. What I can say is that I left Ameren wanting a bigger challenge not fully understanding the safety and value in the culture at Ameren. I worked with people who respected each other, challenged each other, had a similar vision in what the department should look like, and worked together to achieve that. People wanted to be on teams and encourage each other and were mostly in it for the team and not for their own glory. That was a rare culture that I didn't understand the blessing of at the time. That's not even including all the happy hours and events we did outside or within work that made it an enjoyable place to be.
I can't regret the decision I made, as I didn't have any of the cultural information at the time. However, I'd probably make a different decision if I had an understanding of what I would have to go through and the toll it would take on my physical and mental health as a result. Going into 2018 and as a result of the position I was put in, I've worked with my bosses to make some drastic changes in the job and team, so hoping I've set myself up for a better year. Now if I succeed or fail, it's a result of my own actions, as opposed to circumstances I was put in. Now I have to create team energy and culture. But I think I have the right team in place.
Even through everything that has happened the past few months, I've enjoyed the work itself and the challenges of being part of a growing company. The opportunities for this job are endless and I thrive in creating systems and processes and trying new things. So I'm excited for what 2018 has to bring. I've also brought in new teammates which I think will make all the difference in the world. Hopefully I can look back on the first few months of my job as "freshman hazing" and it will turn into something good. I've also met some pretty great people around the company and have enjoyed exploring Clayton's happy hour establishments.
As a result, I've learned a lot: about how to not take things so personally, to persevere, to stand up for myself when necessary. I'm really really proud of myself for sticking it out and even convincing others to come seize opportunities with me.
I still miss Ameren every day, but am excited for the 2018 chapter of Centene.
Being at Centene too has made me look at other women in positions of power and realize it's not out of reach if I want to get there. There were very few women VPs at Ameren so I didn't realize it was a possibility for me. So maybe I'll spend 2018 contemplating how far I want to go...
If not, there's always the hostel in Costa Rica...
2018
As I embark on the 2018 journey, here are a few intentions.
1. Work on mental health through mindfulness. This includes seated meditation practice 2x a week and mindful eating habits through tracking and planning and drinking more water.
2. Be intentional in dating by attempting to go on 2 dates a month.
3. Less TV and more reading. I didn't quite get to 50 books in 2017; maybe I can get there in 2018.
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