I know that EVERYONE has their
pandemic story. This year will live infamously in history. We've all experienced what will be defined as trauma, where everything we know and depend on suddenly changes and we have to adjust to a new normal. My story is certainly not unique, but, as I've come to learn, the flavors of the world are found in stories, not historical facts. This year has been impossibly traumatic and hard, and yet has had so much sweetness and nectar when you look for it. I've attempted to remember here both the things that history and pop culture will remember (note - I'm doing no research to validate my memory), and also, the little stories and moments that will likely wither with time. And, in the spirit of the Souvenir, capture the highlights/lowlights of my pandemic year. I'm MP, and THIS is 2020:
Part 1: The Onslaught
We will start this story in Nov 2019 at the Together Live Tour with Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach in NYC with Kelly. Me and my fangirl self had flow out there for the weekend to go to the tour. Shortly after, Glennon announced her book tour for
Untamed; the first stop was March 9 in Brooklyn. Um, yes please. Kelly and I made plans for me to bring Mom back for the weekend so we could go to the tour. I'd been wanting to bring Mom to NYC forever and figured there was no time like the present.
Around Lunar New Year (I remember this because Hong was visiting Vietnam for the holiday), we started to hear about the Coronavirus, a new strand called COVID-19 (took me a while to differentiate all the terms), being discovered in Wuhan, China. As time passed, they started restricting flights from China to the U.S. I knew Hong's flight had flown through China on the way there, but was routing through Tokyo on the way back, so she should be fine. And she was, thankfully.
It
was sometime in February, about the time Hong returned, when Corona started to become a US thing. At the same time, cases in Italy exploded and Italy went on a full lockdown. Videos were coming out of people singing from apartment balconies. I have a Facebook friend in Italy who started posting about the grocery shortage. Here: A few
cases in Washington. Then in New Rochelle, NYC. Maybe we can
contain it there. Centene asked that we cancel all business trips. The messages started: Wash
your hands!! Stay home if you’re sick!! If you are older or diabetic or
pregnant take extra precautions!
And I was still planning on NYC. Zach told me to stay quiet with it though and told me if it were his mom, he'd cancel. So, a few days before we were to leave, I called Mom and asked her if she
really wanted to risk it. Not too late to call it off (crazy for this Type A planner to think that was even possible! Canceling a trip at the last minute
sounded absurd!) But Mom said she still wanted to go. So we did. Our trip went exactly as planned: Tour bus,
9/11 museum, boat tour, botanical gardens, Glennon book opening, Central Park,
off-Broadway show, subway, restaurants, markets, etc. Mom had a blast!
Lots of hand sanitizer, but otherwise normal. We flew back on a
Tuesday morning and I was at work on Tuesday afternoon. I do remember Melissa
telling me to step away because I had been on a plane, lol. We are still so glad we went!
The weekend I was gone, there was a Father-Daughter dance at the Ritz in Clayton (across the street from Centene). A man attended with his young daughter after his college daughter returned from studying abroad in Italy, was quarantining, and was later confirmed positive. And thus, the first major St. Louis exposure and mass-outrage. The cops were sent to protect this family from the city outrage. Centene sent out a note from HR saying you could work from home for 14 days if you attended that dance (which was crazy, because Centene didn't allow Work from Home, like, ever.)
Wednesday,
the day after I returned from NYC, the NBA suspended their season. They had a couple confirmed cases but this completely stunned the
nation. I consider that day the beginning of all the things.
I will call it “NBA Day” for all time and everyone will know what day I
was referring to. MLB and NHL followed suite on Thursday, along with
Broadway. And dominos of society continued to fall throughout the next weeks.
St. Louis banned
gatherings of over 250. I believe that Friday was the annual Mission: St. Louis
trivia night and we were all waiting for it to be canceled. And to our shock, it went
on. I remember standing in the parking lot with my table / group of
friends afterwards wondering when/ if we would gather again. I made the
comment that “surely we will gather in houses, just not public spaces” and someone else said “umm I don’t
think so” and someone said “clearly we don’t know how this works”. And we
laughed. And to this day, nearly a year later, I haven't seen some of them since. I’ve heard it said that this
pandemic has destroyed whole categories of friendships. It’s certainly
distinguished them - it's deepened the solid and real and severed the convenient and
insignificant.
Other big dominos that fell that week- Cruise ships were called back to port, international travel was banned, schools began to discuss shutting down. NYC became the spotlight for many weeks after that. Case after case popped up and the city shut down. A hospital battle ship, the USS Comfort, was deployed to help (was later determined to be a flop). The Empire State building put up a red siren as it's light, supposedly a tribute to essential workers, but, to me, it was the city signaling an emergency. It's hospitals couldn't keep up; there weren't enough ventilators. Meanwhile, the city had a 7pm nightly routine of going outside and clapping for essential workers. Nectar.
From
that day, we waited in uncertainty for the next things to fall: would we
be told to work from home? Would schools be called off? Would restaurants go
from reduced capacity to closed altogether? What about stores? I
made a massive grocery run that weekend along with the rest of the nation.
No paper products left (luckily I had bought a pack of TP before I left
for NYC so was in no danger of running out). Bought things like pretzels
and Nutella, lots of meat to stock the freezer, all manner of snacks. Was
thinking of a week or three of snow day food.
That
Monday, they announced St. Louis restaurants would close after Friday. Betsy came
over to go out to dinner on Tuesday, St. Patty’s day. The parade
(both of them) had incredulously been canceled. And work was starting to
rumble about reduced capacity. I believe we got the note on the next day
(Wednesday) that we were going to go to every other day working from home and
they released a schedule starting the following Wednesday for cube- neighbors
to work on different days . I didn’t take it seriously, figuring I’d come
in daily anyway. Or that they were going to call off the whole thing and tell everyone to work from home. I
made sure my team (of which I had been over for less than 45 days) had laptops and
VPNs. As I had suspected, that every-other-day schedule didn’t even make it one day, as
I believe we got the note on that Wednesday (where half the group was home for their first day) that everyone was to work from
home until May 1. Which turned into July 1, September 1, “after Jan 1”,
April 1, September 6, 2021. Which, of course, no one knew at the time .
We all thought 4-6 weeks to “flatten the curve". It was discussed (though not widely accepted, as many were too fearful to process) that we'd all get this at some point, we just had to make sure that all the high-risk of hospitalization people didn't get it at the same time.
The
first two weeks of Work from Home were thoroughly non- productive. All we could do
was talk about COVID. I was adamant that we would meet daily and that
we’d make it though together. The subject of my meeting said “the same
water that hardens the egg softens the potato; it’s not about the
circumstances, it’s about what you are made of.” And, to be honest, my
team became closer because of it. The combination of video meetings, ice-breaker questions, and the general feeling of all being in this together truly reinforced the team I was trying to build. Being in 2 (at the time, later 3) locations was really hard when we were in the office, as there would be many meetings with us on the phone in different conference rooms, but now, we were all on video and "together - apart" (a common message at the time). To this day, everyone on the team remembers those first few weeks of WFH as feeling part of
something bigger. I know that this has been a terrible year for some people job-wise. And that I'm truly truly blessed to even have a job, let alone one that I excelled at in the midst of this pandemic. But my story is this: 2020 was one of the best career years I've ever had, as I built and strengthened a team that was cobbled together before pandemic, but really formed and solidified during. I felt responsible to give people a reason to get up in the morning in the middle of global trauma, give them purpose and a safe space to process. To be able to do this and see the team form, was, and is, sweet nectar that I will cherish from this time.
For my time spent away from work (seemingly not much), the world was a strange place. My beloved gym was, of course, forced to close, but they did a great job of putting up YouTube and Instagram streams of teachers teaching from their basements or porches or dining rooms, complete with interfering kids and dogs. Tim and I moved my TV to my nook and I set up space with whatever equipment I had (including laundry detergent bottles and wine bottles). I had managed to snag some resistance bands and Pilates ball off Amazon right at the beginning; workout equipment quickly sold out everywhere. My daily TV classes, combined with the rule made early on (and rarely broken, even to this day, of 10K steps a day), kept me occupied during non-work hours. After work walking
was basically rush hour; so many people (and their dogs!) were out. And I remember polite smiles, but lack of real acknowledgement. There was a bit of uncertainty if walking was "acceptable" and we couldn't pass each other on the sidewalk, let dogs sniff each other, etc. No one knew the rules, so they stuck with their family. The
playgrounds were closed; window scavenger hunts became a thing all over St. Louis. There was a theme each week for the kids (and grown-ups!) to search for and count (Clearly I was one of the grownups as I still remember the themes!). Week 1 was Shamrocks, week 2 was funny faces, week 3 was animals, week 4 was flowers. Chalk art became elaborate, with painters tape as a tool. Celebs
started popping up with solo videos, calling each other, because all their
shows/filming was canceled. My favorite was John Krazinskis “Some Good
News”, a YouTube show he created with people sending in stories of the helpers
and essential workers, then he would gift things (a zoom wedding, zoom prom,
social distance trip to the baseball stadium). Almost every episode made
me cry. Pretty early on, Kelly and I agreed to check in with each other daily throughout lockdown. It's been great to have a solid friend to call. We did lots of FaceTimes and took many many phone-walks together, she in NYC, and I here. She's also been back and forth a few times, so it's been nice to spend actual time together as well. I met my neighbors in this time. I called, messaged, and had
zoom meetings with basically every one I knew, checking on each other, using this time to catch up. Betsy, Kiki, and I spent 3 hours on
FaceTime one night. Zoomed with Kelly and her friends, some of which I
hasn’t talked to in years. I’ve also used COVID as a catalyst to call my grandma Codie more. It’s been fun talking to her once in a while and I always send her pics! She’ll probably read this :-). (Totally sucked that all our family stuff got canceled). Tim got into Zoom game nights and wound up meeting
friends of friends; these Zoom game nights are still going on each Sunday and it's a nice Sunday night routine. It was a time of “we aren’t doing anything so may as
well do it together”. For all the trauma behind this time, we all
remember it fondly. We can get through 6 weeks of this! HA!
Theme song through this time was Rise Up. https://youtu.be/FBuIBaDSOa4
This time was of course also super isolating and scary. I remember getting choked up when
playgrounds shut and the neighbors created the scavenger hunt to give kids
something to do. So sad for the kids that the neighbors had to come together to compensate! A hard part for me was that my Starbucks daily fix was
gone. All the coffee places were closed and my Kuirig was not cutting it.
After 5-7 days of terrible coffee, I was not happy. About that
time, Amazon announced they could no longer guarantee 2-day shipping because
they had to focus on getting PPE to hospitals. What was happening?
The world is collapsing!! Zombie apocalypse! Should I have
bought more food? Are Tim and I going to starve? How will I save
my parents? I laid on my floor of my nook sobbing. The phrase
“everything will be before and after” kept going through my mind. The not
knowing if this was the end of the world as we knew it... so heavy. And yet, we pressed on because what choice did we have? The next day I walked
to Target and thankfully, they hadn’t sold out of French Presses. That
bridged my coffee gap and I learned a new skill. And that was before my 10K steps a day rule, so the getting out and walking was super beneficial. Ok, I can do this! I will say the Target parking lot was littered with gloves and masks and I remember thinking that humanity and human decency had disappeared.
Side note: Later, Cathy and I figured out that the non corporate one Starbucks inside the Cheshire remained open from 7am - 2pm; I started going on Sunday afternoons and getting a spare iced latte (no ice) for the fridge the next day. With that being the only one open, that stuff was GOLD! I think once or twice I tried to go there before work, but it was too far a drive to be worth it.
In general, at first, going to the store was stressful. Maybe it
was a bit later, but as they reduced capacity, the lines would wrap around the
outside of the stores and you had to wait to get in. They started
encouraging face coverings (though it was mixed messaging, because they wanted to save the N95s for essential workers, so people got confused). I decided to get out my hiking headbands/gaiters and used them. For a friendly city where I’m used to chatting with people in
lines, the lines were socially distant and silent. Everyone was nervous
and isolated. People weren’t sure what they were allowed to say and do,
so we all just held silent. I remember one of my first times in Aldis
and being terrified the shelves would be bare; we had heard rumors of
hoarding and shortages because of factory outbreaks and closures.
I would leave in the middle of the workday because evenings were crazy
and made me anxious. The first time I went after NBA day, when I
finally got in, it was a rush of comfort, as they had stocked shelves.
Some gaps, but I wasn’t going to die of starvation. So I didn’t buy all
the things.
Of course the church jumped in near the beginning. Kerry called all
Journey Kids people and an elder called everyone. Obviously all contingency plans of trying to meet in person were voided, so all went remote. People wanted to
know what people needed, who had gotten laid off, who needed food, TP,
whatever. Was nice to feel those layers of structured led support.
I told Kerry that what I needed was to help someone else . She set
me up with someone who needed groceries and meals cooked. That, I could do.
Katie’s baby had had surgery around that time and another church family
had just adopted twins, so cooking meals for people became my side gig. On
Sundays for a few weeks I dropped meals off around town and felt like I was at
least pitching in. Later, Kerry would institute Activity boxes for kids,
and I loved going into church on a weeknight and packing trinkets and
worksheets into pizza boxes. They became lovingly known as “Journey
Pizza” and I hope the kids remember that. For me, packing was some of the
first meaningful volunteer work I had done, plus it was interacting with
people, plus it was creating order out of chaos, and finishing a project from
start to finish. All things that we don’t generally do in isolation.
In short, it felt heavenly. And I kept coming back for more.
One of the things that I noticed during the beginning is how quickly the whole world transitioned. Everyone started using this thing no one heard of called zoom. Schools moved to zoom, churches moved to YouTube live, internet companies gave a free subscription to their products, talk shows moved to virtual, book clubs moved online, etc. Within a week or two, the world was scheduled and running, just online . Birthday parties turned into parades and yard signs. And everyone just... went with it. Most impressive were the teachers who had to figure out how to teach littles without interaction. And no one to show them how. Necessity is of course the mother of invention. We were all so thankful for the internet. And felt resilient.
The Pandemic piece that has been most impactful and impossible to tell the story in as much depth as it deserves, is how my relationship with the
Holman family (and, in time, Sara) became so constant. It started
tentatively in the beginning when we were trying to support local restaurants; they asked if I’d be comfortable coming over for mexican food on a Saturday. I said of course and that we'd be careful. From then on, we talked about every
sniffle and every other person we’d come in contact with and, in essence,
decided we were a “bubble". I was hesitant even to hold Katie’s babies when I visited to drop off food because I didn’t want myself kicked out of the Holman bubble. I remember
for weeks fearing that they would change their mind. But basically every
week, I would get a text or a video with a dinner invitation. We started calling
them “Mexican and Movies with Miss Michelle”. It should be on Mondays because
Mondays starts with an M. “Mock Mondays!” Then at some point, Sara joined
and it was “spicy salsa Saturday’s with Sara”. And just like that, my
week had a new hub to rotate around. We chatted all week about what
movies we’d watch and the kids would count down . A year later, the
video invitations are long gone and we are more interested in rescheduling in
the event that we have to miss a Saturday. We’ve gone through new Pixar
movies and child hood favorites. Started with my first viewing of Frozen
2 and Moana and has morphed into me making them watch Mr Magorium , Pollyanna,
and Rookie of the Year. We watched Remember the Titans and had some good
dialogue. We’ve watched the first three Harry Potter movies and more fan- created YouTube videos than I can count . A few times I’ve asked for alternative Mexican restaurants, but
we’ve mostly stuck with Mariachis II. I’ve also gotten to know the
Holman’s neighbors, as they are often outside and chatting. I even got a
snow cone once at a 1yo birthday party. To say that these Saturdays have
gotten me through pandemic in one piece isn’t the right words. I will be
forever grateful for the community, consistency, love, support, cuddles ,
bests/worsts/thankful fors/ questions of the day, desserts, walks, getting caught in the rain, homeschool involvement, crafting, burrito throwing, hammocks, Night at the Museum, reading, Christmas decorating, birthday celebrations, and so much more. So blessed to have had that from the beginning of pandemic through
now. And love that it’s not even discussed anymore; it just is.
What a blessing to get to be part of this family and be “Miss Michelle”.
And, it's worked both ways; Allowing an external person to enter in and take over the girls attention once a week allows for moments of breath for Tim
and Carolyn as well. We’ve said over and over again that this relationship
works on all levels and is enriching to all parties. It’s been all of our
“thankful fors” more than once.
For the Holman family, April
starts “birthday season”. Emma is April, Katie is May, Elizabeth is June.
Emma’s birthday fell about 6 weeks into pandemic and we were deep in
isolation mode. This was still in the time where I was sneaking into the
Holman’s house on Saturday’s because we didn’t want anyone to know that we were "breaking quarantine" or whatever. And Carolyn knew of a juggler looking for work.
Even at $100 for 15 minutes, she knew we all needed something different.
So Jeff the juggler came and all the neighbors and our Community Group (which I
had joined somewhere in there) and Melissa and her kids and so many people came
out to sing and watch the show. As Jeff balanced on a ball and we
applauded wildly, I leaned over to Sara and asked if this was actually that
good or if we were so starved for live interaction and entertainment that it
seemed amazing. While he was good, in a pre- COVID world (like at
Shakespeare in the park or something), you wouldn’t have given him a second look
if your cheese and wine were good. But now? Now he was the best thing we had ever seen. Now we notice and
appreciate because we are starved for simulation. Like noticing the Tower
Grove tulips. I’m sure they’ve always been there and pretty, but did we
notice? Spring in general - everyone remarked how beautiful it was. But, was it more so than usual? Pandemic, at least in the early
days, made us stop and notice. I remember my first time at Art Basin (my
fave place in St. Louis) after NBA day and the length of time I stared at it.
It hadn’t changed even though my world had disintegrated. What a
comfort and relief. I keep returning there and those fountains keep on
flowing. And I stare in awe and appreciation and familiarity. And so it goes. Sweet nectar of slowness.
One
of the more memorable days in those early days was the day that was supposed to
be the Cardinals home opener. Back in the days where we still remembered
to remember the calendar of our “alternate life”. Tim and I decided to go
to the park and throw the softball around then came home to wings and fries in
the air fryer (which has been our COVID treat meal) and watch Bull Durham. It was bittersweet to remember but so glad we marked the day. #stayhomeopener. Our world was so quiet without the backdrop of sports. I missed it so much; any sport, all the sports! Live things! Cardinals had always been something I could count on no matter what. The fact that their season was suspended was a deep cut. We had party room tickets for the end of June; surely the world would be back to normal by then. And certainly before the July Olympics. There was a level of defeat later on when they canceled Fair St. Louis, and, ultimately, the Olympics. The logics of postponing an Olympics still boggles my mind. I'm still hopeful that it will go on this year.
Part 2: The slow and shame-filled creep back out into the world:
The
world slowly started coming out of its shell in May, but shhh, don’t tell or
post on social. I met up with Erin and Sara one day in the park and Erin was
shocked that Sara and I had been getting together. People were doing it, but not advertising it because everyone was afraid of getting shamed for doing
something wrong. The next Saturday, Erin asked to get together again and I
boldly proposed we up the ante. We ended up driving out to Weldon Springs
to hike and then going and sitting at Augusta Brewery and Montelle, my quintessential fave St. Louis day. And it was glorious.
We were a little shocked at the barely a nod to COVID (some handwritten
signs reading “Social Distancing”); I think this was even in the days before
masks . Maybe I had a headband with me, but I don’t recall being asked to
wear it. Anyway, the day was long, slow, and lovely. Felt so nice
to get out of the city. I remember having to pack a bag and struggling
with what I’d need for the day; bag- packing was such a thing of the past.
And I remember getting home at 7:00 or so that night and going straight
to bed. Lol, we all found out COVID energy level didn’t equal pre-COVID.
Quite a shock to learn how sedentary we had all become despite our best
efforts.
A
few weeks after that, our little float trip group of friends got together to
go out to “Missourah” to go kayaking. Where restaurants were open and COVID
was barely a thing. Sara and I went into a Denny’s for breakfast.
Our waitress wore a mask (under her nose) and they were seating every
other table. But I do remember the entrance being a little tight. Pancakes have never tasted so good as that first time out. Even more glorious was the
Mexican on a patio that night. Chips and Salsa in a basket is basically heaven. Kayaking was lovely too of course. But clearly the resturants are what I remember from that lovely day.
On Tuesday nights during lockdown, I had often done zoom outdoor yoga with Kim; with a bunch of people in our backyards. One day in May, she posted that she'd be there in person. WHAT?? OMG! From a yoga class that had maybe 6 people on Zoom, born from a yoga class that generally had 8-15 people in the park the year before (I went occasionally when I could get away from work in time), around 40 people showed up the first in-person night. Gingerly spacing but chatty and happy. That feeling of normalcy was the best. I've been pretty faithful with Kim's Tuesday/Thursday Francis Park yoga and Saturday TG park yoga. She's is constant and I'm so thankful that she continues to show up for her people. In the rain, in the cold, in the dark, it didn’t matter. If she could, she did. And it was great that there were always people there. That group of people, that I've even done a bit of happy hour with, is a nice addition to my Pandemic life. And to be outside so much more than normal. Nectar.
Work
people too began to come out of our hiding places behind our laptops. Zach orchestrated us
surprising Melissa in Breese at her parents' bar. And we took our chairs
and tried to be socially distanced but ended up inside the bar closing the
place down, lol. Such a fun night!. We did it again later to
celebrate Mel’s wedding. I think I would have made it to the bar without Pandemic, but so glad we did. I didn't even mind the hour plus drive. Leaving the city??? WHAT?? YESS!
Later in July (I think), when Cardinals Opening Day FINALLY arrived (no fans, of course), we had a grand gathering in our backyard of maybe 10-12 people, complete with cracker jacks and a Nacho Bar. That was a lovely day that kicked off quite a few back yard gatherings at our house for baseball, Blues playoffs, a showing of Hamilton, a showing of the Little Mermaid, and more. My personal favorite was three nights in July of virtual VBS with the Korn-Hole-Bachs (plus the Nastois) where we played silly games and ate popsicles and I got to play the part of Miss Michelle once again. Tim’s projector is one of the greatest blessings of COVID as it has allowed for community in our little backyard.
Church started doing an every- other Sunday night outdoor gathering that I LOVED. The singing outside, lawn chairs, fire pit, and squealing children were so soothing. That went on until winter stopped it.
Cathy
and David and later Kelly and I were on a biking kick for a while. Not necessarily
Covid -driven because I think we would have done that regardless. Still
some of my fav times ! In the late late fall got on a hiking kick too. That might be Covid driven because people weren't as busy so jumped at the chance. One of the key differences of this time as opposed to normal life was the plan-making in 24 hours or less. Gone were the days of scheduling things out a few weeks. Most of the time, a text would pop up and say "tonight?" or "tomorrow?" and the answer would be yes. If anyone asked for plans more than 2-3 days out, the answer would be "I can't think that far ahead". Honestly, that spontaneity was sweet. It took some adjusting, but it was nice to see people when you wanted to see them.
In
June, we started getting rumblings of the gym opening back up. Joe had
been paying close attention and wanted to be as safe as possible and had
negotiated with Wash U, Clayton, and St. Louis County to allow him to set up a
site in The Wash U parking garage. Complete with rooms and speakers and a
mini fridge and moving spin bikes outside. It was a crazy idea that no
one else was doing and Joe put his soul into making it work and the results were spectacular. We were all hesitant at first. We donned masks until we
got to our space. And then... then, it was business as usual. The amount of
normalcy that it brought back to my life is unspeakable. I started
getting up and going before work and stopping at Starbucks on the way home.
I particularly remember the giddiness that I felt when I saw classes
scheduled 3 and 4 weeks out. That was the first time anyone had been
willing to create plans more than a few days in advance since March. Going to my daily morning or afternoon classes brought the constant normalcy that I needed to be able to endure the ever-changing return-to-office plans. A month or two in, they opened up the interior / original gym and allowed showers. This was a catalyst for "Office Wednesday" where a few of us would try to go in and work/ eat lunch/socialize once a week. It felt sooo good and right and normal.
wash U article
fox 2 video
For all of the glints of normal that I was super grateful for, July
2020 came around and, honestly, I was about done. We had our annual float
trip /camping trip planned for the end of the month but that was it.
Other people seemed to be going on vacation (lots of Smoky mountains and
Wisconsin/Michigan, but still). Having nothing planned and crawling out of my
skin, I called my aunt who had a newly built lake house in Texas. She
invited me and Mom down on September. Way too far away, but I’ll take it.
Putting something on the calendar to look forward to is sooo vital to me.
Mom and I loved it. We drove it all in one 15 hour day. And
took the new kitten! I took a week of vacation and worked for a week.
It was lovely, both in scenery, relaxing, and connecting to family more.
And work from home made it possible. I repeated the two week stay/
work from home/driving/ taking kitten just last month when I went to Georgia to
stay with Lauren. But that time, I worked all but two days (where we did
some lovely hiking). And, I missed the cold snap and came back to
spring! Perfect!!
The world is slowly returning to its alternate version, new normal, as people are getting vaccinated. Church and Journey Kids is starting this weekend full time, restaurants are back to mostly (masked/social distance) normal, Cardinals are allowing some fans. I’ve liked the move to more outdoor things, as outside has always been my preference. I anticipate that to be the trend for a while. Winter has been hard because not as much of that has been happening, but Spring is springing and the world awakening. I have no doubt that we will move on from this thankful for all the things we took for granted before. I’m living in anticipation of the emotions of my first Cardinal game or the first time I get on a plane or stay in a hotel or watch a firework display. And the first time to hug my grandma or extended family I haven’t seen. First meeting in a conference room or work trip to see people I’ve been zooming with but never met. So many firsts yet to happen. I think that if this time has taught me anything, though, it’s that we need to live for the now and make the best of our time here, not live in fear or anticipation of “when this is all over”. Embrace the now and look for the nectar.
Part 3: Epilogue & Lists
On
buying and learning-
Most
of us went through a “medicate with stuff” phase near the beginning of COViD. The more you sit around
on Instagram (which was A LOT in the early days; memes and video parodies were
so good!), the more ads you see. And the more times you see an ad, the
more it seeps into your psyche. Even for those of us who knew better!
And, hey, I wasn’t going out to eat or on trips so anything to make me
feel better!! Packages are fun! Mail is exciting! I'm home cooking more so I need THINGS!
Things I’ve bought during COViD -
- A LL Bean sweatshirt (Insta)
- A
skort (Insta)
- Sunglasses
(Insta)
- A
leg pillow for sleeping (Insta)
- A Lands End canvas bag. (Insta)
- Premium
flip flops (so I could get my 10k steps a day in without stopping to lace up
shoes)
- Sponges
(Insta )
- Cookie
racks and tongs and a cookie scoop (pampered chef)
- New
measuring spoons
- A
kitchen-aid mixer
- LASIK
- A
kitten
- Ingrown
Toenail surgery
- A
laptop/chrome book combo
- A
monitor
- Wireless
keyboard
- A
mini- fridge
- Shirts
and leggings off thredUP
- Hoodies
off Facebook
- 3
pairs of wireless headphones because I go through them so quickly
Things
I’ve considered buying:
- A
house
- A
lake house
- A
river cabin
- An
air bnb in Colorado for a month or two
- A
new car
- A dog
- Screens for Tim’s back porch
Things
I’ve learned to do-
- Bake chocolate croissants (YUM)
- Change
a bike tire
- Tunisian
crochet
- Use
Reddit
- Buy
stock
- Grocery
shop and cook during the week (as opposed to only doing that on the weekend)
- Sit
in my chair and read a book with the YouTube fire on .
- Eat
Whole30 (mostly)
- Practice
mindfulness
- Design my own quilt square
- Hike solo
- Drive 9 hours solo with a kitten
A Few other memories:
- Making Quilt Squares for Grandma Codie's 90th birthday quilt that Kat put together
- Making Carolyn's blanket (mostly in Texas) and her 40th birthday weekend in St. Charles
- All the walking and audio books; trying to walk in different neighborhoods
- Trick or Treating with the Holman's and all of the candy-chutes
- Red and black brass band; we were on TV
- The Fall festival up at church and making paper air planes all night. Was exhausted for 2 days after that, again attesting that COViD energy isn't the same as pre-COViD.
- Peach picking with the Holman’s; so hot in our masks
- Magnolia market and Whataburger with DizzyLou the kitten in my bag.
- Our Float/Camping trip that got canceled and then rescheduled and then we left early because of loud neighbors.
- Sushi with Sara multiple times.
- Day trip to Columbia to hang out with Dorothy
- Protests and BLM- a constant backdrop of summer 2020. A consistent question we had when a business closed unexpectedly "COVID or Riots?" as closures for both were common.
- My parents and I getting COVID around Thanksgiving; worst parts were the staying home (though I still walked, of course) and the not smelling for a week. I craved weird food like friend chicken and mac & cheese. Thankfully, none of us had bad cases and haven't had any lasting effects. I didn't miss work or anything.
- My October/ November yoga retreat to Peru was postponed by a year
- Weddings that got altered or rescheduled - Melissa’s, Erin’s, Becca’s , Gaby’s
Books
2020 was my first ever over 50 book year, mostly due to the walking / audiobook habit. In March 2021, I’ve already read 25. Best books in this season- (in addition to my first re-read of Harry Potter)
- Kite Runner
- Only Plane in the Sky
- American Dirt
- Shoe Dog
- Night Divided
- A Thousand Splendid Suns
- The Giver of Stars
- Big Magic
- A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
- Podcast- Office Ladies
I’ll End with a few “coworker” pics because DizzyLou is a cute one . Yamo is still the boss of all the things though. He tolerates her well. This is the vast majority of my camera roll ... 🤦♀️
Epilogue - In late March 2021 on a Wednesday, before vaccinations opened to the public, I got a suspect email telling me that I was eligible for the Johnson & Johnson shot , super exciting because it only requires one dose! I filled out a weird form with insurance info, etc. Then immediately panicked because I thought it was a scam. Told me to be at Forest Park college on Friday afternoon. Didn’t say much to anyone because I thought it was a hoax. Next day I saw something about long lines at Forest Park college on the news so figured it was legit . I drove there at the allotted time and saw a cop/ member of the national guard who told me to flip around. Couldn’t figure out how to flip around so went in another entrance. I was prepared to wait in line for several hours (snacks, book, purse, etc.). Was a gorgeous day, I was here for it. Got there , followed signs, saw National Guard giving people rides back to their car in a golf cart. Walked straight to registration, no issues, no line, was guided upstairs. So many volunteers/ workers! Different people gave me a clipboard, checked it, took it , all while I was winding through line . Before I could even take in what was happening, I was sitting in a chair with a nurse who asked me how I was . I started crying. Not because the shot for me was life altering, but because I knew for some it would be. Because of the amount of work going into not just that day, but in getting it developed and distributed in record time. Because it was a culmination of a year, a full year, of an alternate universe that we never thought could happen . Because other countries can’t give their people this. Because it was an unforgettable milestone. I left that evening and wasn’t ready to go home, so I returned for the millionth time to my favorite spot in the city, Art Basin, for a walk and an audiobook under a beautiful mashed-potato sky. Then made my way to my favorite take out spot that I had only been to once in the past year , BLK MKT eats. Seemed like a fitting evening to celebrate all I , we, had been through and the hope that is in the “after”.
